Fitness Journal

What a difference a few years makes! On the left is an almost unrecognizable me working in the truck for CBS at Super Bowl 35 in Tampa, January, 2001. The photo on the right is from the same event three years later, this time as the stage manager at Super Bowl 38 in Houston, February 1, 2004. Hard to believe isn't it?

Welcome to my reformatted web site. My career has taken precedence over everything else the last few months, as things have really started taking off. As a result, website maintenance has suffered and for that I apologize.

I spent the fall traveling with Monday Night Football, while continuing to work my office job with the family business. I worked seven days a week from Labor Day to Thanksgiving, but I was thrilled to have the opportunity to do so. MNF turned out to be simply the most challenging, terrifying and rewarding experience of my life. After nine NFL seasons (three as a stage manager), I thought I could handle anything, but my first show was a disaster to say the least! This was the big time, and it became clear that I had to raise my game to survive my first season. Fortunately, my announcers were absolutely WONDERFUL - as were my co-workers - and with their encouragement, I pushed on, pulled myself together and loved my job by the end of the year. I owe a huge thanks not only to my compatriots in the announce booth, but a special thank you to Al Michaels and John Madden for being tremendous people to work with. I adore them both.

MNF finished the season with the wildcard game, so I was free to go back to freelancing for the remainder of the playoffs. Off I went to the Super Bowl in Houston to serve as stage manager for the equally fantastic CBS broadcast team of Phil Simms and Greg Gumbel. The CBS "A" crew is like family to me, as they gave me my first big break in the business, and Phil and Greg have always been a joy to work with. In fact, it was Greg who personally recommended me for the MNF job, which made it doubly bittersweet to come back and work for them one last time. I must say, I feel truly blessed to have had the opportunity to work with the two best NFL shows on television - and the four best announcers in the business.

Now all of this travel put my goal of teaching fitness on hold until this spring, when I intended to start working part time nights and weekends. Well, that's all gone out the window now! Just before Christmas I picked up a little show called the NBA on ABC, which meant my spring weekends were soon earmarked for work and travel once again. While my NBA schedule is lighter than the NFL was initially, the playoffs start mid-April and run straight through the NBA Finals in late June. After that I'll only have about six weekends off before Monday Night Football starts again with the Hall of Fame game in Canton. A schedule like that makes finding a gym a little more challenging, as I need enough flexibility to take time off later this summer.

I have also been at a loss as to how one really gets started in the fitness business, as I am currently not a member of any gym. Where can you pick up choreography tips, learn good personal training techniques and develop a teaching style when you work out at home? This has been my problem. Fortunately, I took a weekend trip down to "V" in Charleston last month and was able to put this question to the great Susan Harris. Susan's suggestion was for me to start taking tours and sample workouts at various gyms around the Bay Area until I find one that fits my style and philosophy. Once I have my target list narrowed down, I should then go talk to the managers and identify myself as a newly certified instructor who needs some basic experience. Ask them if I can tag along with some of their trainers and instructors to watch, learn, and get my feet wet. I've heard that many gyms like raw materials that they can mold into their own style, hopefully, I can convince one or two to take a chance on me. Wish me luck!

In the mean time, I am still trying to sneak in a little time for myself to do things just for fun. My schedule has been pretty stressful, and my diet has been in the crapper because of it, so I really have needed to recharge my batteries. After the holidays I decided to try the South Beach Diet for a while because one of my sisters had a lot of success with it. I managed to stay on it about a month and did lose 12 lbs, but over the long term, I just couldn't do it. The thought of giving up fruit was absolutely painful for me, and before long, the food cravings just became ridiculous. Most of February was spent trying to do a modified version of the plan, which was a joke, because the more I tried to give up sugar and bread, the more I craved it, and binges shortly followed. As a result, I think over the long term I did more damage trying South Beach than I would have than had I not done anything at all.

So now I sit here two weeks away from the FIRM Believers weekend, right back where I was after the holidays with a good 15 lbs to lose. Instead of moping about it and feeling like a failure (which - suprise, surprise - is how fad diets have always made me feel), I went back and re-read my own website (which I haven't even looked at in about three months). I rejoined Weight Watchers, and am now following my own advice: I'm picking up as though it never happened. I guess the moral of the story is what they always taught us in journalism school - keep it simple, stupid! Do what works, don't be seduced by tricks or short cuts, and for goodness sake, don't be so hard on yourself. It's NEVER too late to start over.

28 August, 2003

I have passed my certification exams! I am now an AFAA certified personal trainer and an ACE certified group fitness instructor. I have joined the professional organization known as IDEA and am shopping for liability insurance. Next up: find an apprenticeship - and a job! Though the job search may have to wait until after the NFL season.

1 August, 2003

One down, one to go!

I took my AFAA personal trainer exam on Sunday, July 20. I studied really hard and felt good about the practical portion, but know I got a couple of questions wrong on the multiple choice exam. I absolutely detest those "multiple-multiple choice" answers... the ones where the options are "A", "B", "C", "D" or "A and B". Those kill me every time.

This week is my first trip for my new job, so I'm off to Ohio this afternoon until Tuesday morning. I took a good look at my work schedule for the rest of the calendar year to come up with an exercise plan for when I'm on the road. I'm going to be out of town virtually every weekend from September 1 to January 3, so I now realize that my first personal training client will be ME! Fortunately, I already know where I'll be staying, so I was able to map out a fitness schedule that makes the most of the hotel facilities while balancing my FIRM workouts at home. I'm pleased with the way it turned out, and will post it on my progress page sometime next week.

I'm feeling healthy and strong again and am back at my pre-June fitness levels, using 16+ lb dumbbells for leg and lat work and 17+ lbs for french presses. I'm eating cleanly and am back on my version of the points system and am generally on my way to infomercial form once again. Three "bed rest" pounds gone already, so I'm feeling very positive.

I have three challenges ahead of me in the next few weeks:

1) To maintain proper diet and exercise habits while traveling, so I reach my fitness goals. I don't think getting exercise will be an issue, as activity has become second nature to me. My number one problem will be maintaining nutrition and portion control while dining out 4-5 days per week. It's easy to stay on track when I am at home and cooking for myself, because I can just avoid restaurants on principle. But while I'm working my options will be limited and I'll have to be very careful about the food decisions I make.

2) To keep up my studies and pass the ACE group fitness exam on August 9. I was pretty mentally exhausted after the AFAA exam last week, and with the excitement of my new job, have had trouble concentrating. It's been tough finding the discipline to sit down and commit the ACE material to memory, and partly because so much of what I'm reading is review I get impatient and restless. With all that's going on, I've managed to get some work done in fits and starts, but what I really need is some quiet time to focus on nothing else. So I've promised myself that after I return from Ohio it will be all ACE, all the time. But rest assured, I'll still be reading on the flight.

3) To keep on keeping on, no matter what goes wrong. My setbacks in June were actually a blessing in disguise, because they gave me a lot of time to find my focus and set new personal goals. Two years ago, my goals were very quantifiable: I wanted to lose 100 lbs and be a size 8. Things are different now. While it would be nice to be an 8, a 10 is easier to maintain and is still a million miles from the 20+ I once was. I am more interested in things like increasing my endurance so that I have enough wind to cue a fitness class, dropping my body fat a bit and gaining more muscle definition in my abs and rear view. I'm still not comfortable in a bathing suit, so I'd like to get to the point where I can swim laps in the hotel pool without feeling self-conscious.

By the way, August marks my second anniversary of life without Coca-Cola. I know that seems like a silly milestone, but it's hugely significant to me. Considering I used to drink five Cokes a day, going two months without it is a feat, let alone two years cold turkey. I LOVE the stuff and still miss it... I still have dreams about it, but I don't dare attempt to reintroduce it to my life - even in moderation! There are some things in life we cannot do half way, and I think for me, cola is one of them.

July 25, 2003

Lately I've learned a lot about setbacks. Much more than I'd ever hoped to.

My spring was a busy one, juggling my regular office job, freelance work in my "dream career" and plenty of travel to go along with it. A new job possibility dropped out of the sky in March, so a trip to New York for an interview was squeezed in between events. Plus, I was still training for the June triathlon, studying for my two fitness certifications, attending assorted wedding events and dealing with family obligations. My only "me" time was the FitPrime vacation a week before the tri and I was really looking forward to it. I thought I could do it all, but I was wrong and something had to give. Who knew it would be my health?

At first I had trouble recovering from little things, like allergy attacks and stress. Then my workouts became more difficult, my energy level low and I looked forward to my training much less. After I returned home from a golf tournament in late April, I'd found I had about 10-15 to lose after weeks of dining out and drinking a little to often while on the road. I was afraid I'd lost too much ground so I redoubled my clean eating habits and really pushed with the tri training. That seemed to do the trick, but just as the pounds came off and I began to feel good again, the rug was pulled out from under me.

In June, I had a severe reaction to (what is now believed to be) a spider bite that made me very, very ill. Things were so serious that I was put on modified bed rest for a month. I was weak, barely functional, and scared. The triathlon? Forget about it. My FitPrime vacation? Cancelled. I was told to stop working out and get as much rest as possible and was in no condition to argue. I'd pull myself out of bed in the morning, go to the office and drag through the day like a zombie. I felt fairly useless. I'd come home and go straight to bed, sleep until 8 p.m., eat something and go back and sleep until morning. My only trips out of the house beyond work were to the doctor's office for follows-ups and additional blood work to see what things were doing. I got very sick of needles.

By the end of the month I was feeling better, but had gone completely stir crazy. I know I'm a bad patient, but I'd had enough of being sick. I unloaded my frustrations on my doctor, who graciously allowed me to resume a very modified exercise schedule as soon as I felt strong enough. Just in time too, because after a month of too much sleep and no activity, I found I'd regained those same pounds I'd lost the two months prior. I'd had very little contact with friends and family and was very, very depressed. But I had to push on.

There was a bright side to this dark cloud, however, as I learned quite a lot about myself during my month of sleep and boredom. First of all, I realized how much fitness has changed my life, as every day I was unable to work out, I wished I could. Exercise has become such a part of my daily routine that my body craved it, even when it was physically unable to do so. I couldn't wait for the strength (and the medical O.K.) to start being active again. Second, my eating habits were not terribly healthy during my illness, as I was eating less protein and more starches to make things easier on my liver. That kind of diet tastes good, but I think it made me even more sluggish - it certainly made me feel fairly gross most of the time!

I also learned that overtraining does damage to your body in ways you cannot imagine. I had pushed too hard, scheduled too little time, and was doing too much too soon, and I believe my immune system suffered for it. I felt behind most of the time I was training for the triathlon, and couldn't understand why my times and distances weren't improving. The closer I got to the event, the less I thought I'd be able to finish it, and the less I wanted to do. I was burned out, but was too stubborn to admit it, and too determined to quit. My friend Sevon now says I wasn't meant to compete in that event this year, and the only way my body could stop me was to get sick. In hindsight, I think she may have hit the nail on the head.

I'm now a month away from it all, feeling healthy and strong again and my blood work is finally improving. I'm very thankful that things weren't as serious as they could have been, as it just as easily could have been one of those scary things they tested for as a bad reaction to a bite. I'm grateful that I was fit and strong before I got sick, because I don't know that I would have recovered as well in the body I lived in two years ago. I'm also happy to report that I'm back on track once more and the scale is again headed in the right direction.

Finally, I have a much better perspective on disappointments and setbacks than I've ever had before. I'm no different than anyone else in that I can feel pretty lousy about myself when the scale is up and my jeans are feeling snug. But when your doctor is talking about the possibilities of ultrasounds and biopsies, you gain new respect for things you take for granted, like a healthy liver, a strong immune system and a good white blood cell count. Suddenly, you're more concerned with your body's function, not it's form, and you gain new respect for what a fragile machine it really is.

It's only then that you realize that a few pounds in the wrong direction is not the end of the world. You can take it right back off as easily as you put it on. It something you have the power to change and control. And like magic, the setback ceases to be a personal failure, a sign of your net worth, your old habits taking hold or the first stop on your return trip to the land of the large. It's a blip on the radar - something to be expected, dealt with and then set aside. This is not your undoing, but a chance to reevaluate where you are, what you're doing, and how to improve your performance.

Setbacks happen, and they are not the end of the world.

May 28, 2003

Triathlon training is tough.

I've been back home from my travels nearly a month now, and went head first into a training program to get ready for the Danskin on June 22. I kept up my running and stationary bike work on the road and got right back into my strength training, so I thought I'd be OK for the race. Now I'm not so sure.

I was in the pool last week trying to get my laps in and build endurance for the 1/2 mile river swim that opens the event. While I have always had a strong stroke, I personally have never had much water endurance, so swimming always really taps me out. Some things never change I guess, because I found myself struggling to complete just a few laps of freestyle right from the getgo, and things just don't seem to be improving. Then, in the middle of my workout, my left goggle filled with water. Fighting my water fatigue already, I made the mistake of letting the goggle distract me and before I knew it, some water had gone up my nose and I started choking. Water panic. So I stopped dead in the middle of the lane and pulled myself together. No problem in a 3 1/2 ft. deep indoor heated pool, but I can't do that in the middle of an open water swim with hundreds of other racers. Let alone get through the swim AFTER said panic and then still bike 12 miles and complete a 5K run. So I am a little concerned.

The run and the bike are not at distance yet, but with four weeks left to train, I think I can get there. It's the swim that is going to be the problem, and frankly, with my current work and workout schedule I don't know if it will be there in time. I am really pushing my body hard as it is to get ready, and while I am starting to look pretty damn good, I am pretty damn tired from all of the workouts. I need more time, more patience, and as my friend Carter suggested, access to some open water to practice the full distance under semi-race conditions.

But I am one stubborn gal and am not ready to quit. So I have made a deal with myself. Keep training at the same rate I am now through race week. That includes gym workouts the four days I'll be in Sacramento working track and the five days in Charleston for FitPrime Live. We'll see where I am and how I feel the night before I have to drive to Sacramento to pick up my entry packet. If I feel confident, I'll compete. If not, I've made a $79 donation to breast cancer research. Maybe I can find another sprint distance event to do at the end of the summer. I am enjoying the benefits of crosstraining, but I think my body is trying to tell me I am doing too much too fast.

In the mean time, my summer is jam packed with fitness workshops, seminars, studying and certification classes. With the support and encouragement of many of the FIRM instructors (especially Janet, Suzanne and Laura - thank you!), I will sit for my AFAA Personal Trainer certification the weekend of July 18-20 and my ACE Group Fitness exam on August 9. I am very excited about this.

When I was overweight, I always thought there was an overload of fitness fads and gurus with magic bullets, but there were very few people in the industry whom I could identify with or relate to. I continue to be inspired every day by the e-mails and guestbook messages from those of you who struggle not only with your weight, but with your health and self-esteem, just as I did. I am thrilled to hear that many of you find motivation in my story and my website, albeit from the distance of cyberspace. For me, the next logical step is fitness instruction. I can think of nothing better than helping others on a personal basis find the strength within themselves to take their health and their lives back. The ability is in every one of us, it truly is. It's simply a matter of finding the will to follow through.

So many wonderful things have happened to me in the last two years, it's incredible. I am truly grateful for all the wonderful opportunities I've been given. Someone said to me the other day that it's because I lost weight that my life has changed, and aren't I sorry I didn't do it sooner? I told this person they had missed the point entirely. It wasn't the weight I lost that changed my life. It was the decision to do so, and the conviction, the effort and the determination it took to get me there. That's what changed my life. Not being there, but getting there. It really is the journey, not the destination.

Here's a sneak peek of my favorite after photo from the infomercial shoot. (Photo courtesy of Cathy Sovde of the FIRM and is property of GoodTimes, Inc.)

May 15, 2003

Well, the infomercial is on the air now, and boy is it weird watching myself on TV. That notwithstanding, I must say that I think it turned out very well. It is very positive, upbeat and super-motivating. I am very proud to have taken part.

Sorry I've been AWOL for a while. I've been traveling for work quite a bit the last two months, first for March Madness, then to NYC for an interview and Houston to work a golf tournament in April. Fitness-wise I've done well the last two months, and have kept up my workouts in the hotel gym no matter how early my call times (much to the chagrin of my hotel roommate!). However, I don't have a portable DVD player yet (nor does my laptop play them) so my FIRM schedule has been hit or miss. Add to that a few too many beers after work with the guys, and you have a recipe for tight jean syndrome once again! Just when I thought I'd recovered from the holidays, the "beer belly" snuck up and got me!

Not to worry though. I think these little setbacks are a great way of learning what works for me and what doesn't. I now know I need to go portable with the FIRM... if for no other reason than the workouts are fun and keep me motivated. I also know I cannot hold my own with the road crew, so why try? I like to unwind with a cold one now and then, but three beers a night on air days wreaks havoc with my midsection. I've gone cold turkey now. I'm not even having champagne at my friend's wedding this weekend. I have officially registered for the Danskin triathlon and am in training now, and will fuel my body accordingly. Six weeks until the race!

I am pleased to have learned that my new eating and workout habits have become a part of my life. No matter where I go or what I'm doing, I need to get my workout in - for sanity, for fitness, and for stress reduction. And while I like treats just as much as the next person, a little goes a long way. I feel better and function better when I eat better. Imagine that! I don't crave fast food anymore and missed my flax and grapefruit juice while I was out of town. Never thought I'd say that in a million years!

I've received my copy of the new Body Sculpting System 2, and absolutely love it. I have developed a particular addiction to Calorie Killer. I cannot stop doing it. I am also partial to Complete Aerobics and Weight Training, because it targets the bane of my existence - the triceps! Plus, my copies of FIRM Upper Body Sculpt and FIRM Abs are on the way. I want those jeans to be loose by the end of June - or even better, by FitPrime Live Charleston, which I will be attending June 15-22.

I have a new television job on the horizon that I am very excited about, but will keep under wraps until everything is official. It's part time, but an enormous opportunity for me... and yes, it is BEHIND the scenes! I am definitely a behind the scenes kind of gal. I can tell you that to supplement that new position, I have taken a deep breath (and a ton of inspiration from the FIRM instructors) and have decided to get certified in group fitness and personal training. I hope to have completed all course work and passed all exams by the fall.

Wish me luck - there are lots of changes coming!

March 4, 2003

Item no. 1, I CANNOT give up potatoes. I've tried. It isn't going to happen. I must have quit them a million times in the last two months, only to have the craving to build up in a moment of weakness and morph into a pot of mashed potatoes made with real cream and butter. No wonder my jeans are snug lately. So I have decided to offset the great potato beast with a batch of low fat potato-leek soup. It's not a diet recipe; it's straight out of "Julia and Jacques Cooking At Home". It just happens to be fairly low in fat. All you have to do is take a boat motor to it after it's cooked (i.e., an immersion blender - the dieter's best friend) and substitute 2 cups of 2% milk for heavy cream. You'd think it's cheating, but it's not.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand, which is eating in real life. I've tried to go cold turkey with potatoes for insulin's sake, and it just isn't going to happen. So I am following my own advice and making peace with them. Allowing myself to satisfy the craving, but responsibly. My life cannot be potato free. And you know what? That potato-leek soup works pretty well.

Item no. 2, the scale. Got on it. Finally. Didn't like what I saw. At all. How quickly the mighty can fall. See item #1 for an explanation. There, I said it. Now it's time to move on and get back to what I know works. Moral of the story? Don't avoid the scale, no matter how much you want to. Had I gotten back on it the minute I came back from the super bowl, my jeans would probably not feel snug as they do now. I stand by what I've said in the past about weight being relative and getting caught up in the numbers business, as it can be destructive to work very hard at eating and exercise and have the scale tell you no progress has been made. The point is, I haven't been so diligent about my program as of late. So I now add the caveat that you must face reality at some point. I went too long avoiding the scale while being lax about my habits. Point taken. Lesson learned.

I am supposed to go to Las Vegas this weekend for a bachelorette party, and am dreading it. I'd love to be there for my friend, but I feel my resolve hanging by a thread this week. I'm not sure this is the time to be away from the structure of my home, my workouts, and my kitchen. It goes without saying that I don't need to add alcohol into the mix. Drinking has contributed to my downfall, no question. Not that I am a big drinker... quite the contrary. But you know what they say about one drink lowering your inhibitions? It's true. The problem is not me taking all my clothes off and table dancing, the problem is me watching what I eat that night and the next morning, and then getting up to work out the next day. Or not, as the case may be. Not to mention the empty calories from the alcohol itself.

So I have some big decisions to make. I'll keep you posted.

In the mean time, at the suggestion of my friend Kelly, I plan to add a guest book to this site. Please stop by and say hello when the link goes up later this week.

Still a little thick from the holidays, this is me in the ABC broadcast booth at the Super Bowl, January 26, 2003, with my friend, Monday Night Football stage manager Jeff Bentley. Apparently, any weight gain now goes directly to my triceps and midsection. That's a new development!

24 February, 2003

Just checking in to say hello and confess my sins. My eating has been atrocious the last few weeks. I finally had to sit myself down and regroup this weekend. Assess the good with the bad. The truth is, I've gained some weight since the infomercial shoot. But all is not lost! I am not an overweight person again, just not where I was in October (nor where I would like to be). If truth be told, I'm a little too thick around the middle for my liking. While the bad news is that I have not been careful or consistent about portion or point control, the good news is I have kept exercising...just not as much or as often as in the past.

But nothing is permanent, and even slumps can be broken. It's time I got back to what set me down the fitness road in the first place, and that is thinking about my health first, my weight second. I've been awfully caught up in the numbers game...which is easy to do with weight watchers and weekly weigh-ins. I find when I get into a "fat panic", I stop paying attention to the things that really matter, like how I feel in my clothes, or more to the point, how I feel in my own skin. I have not been feeling very good about myself lately, and have been very stressed about work, taxes and finances. What an unpleasant surprise it has been to discover how easily I can slip back into sedating those feelings with food!

The difference this time is that I can identify and put a stop to it before things get out of control. So here I begin again. A clean slate and a fresh start. I want to feel good about myself again, and the only way to do that is to make my health top priority, not reaching an arbitrary goal weight or pant size. I can always lose a few pounds. What I cannot afford to lose is the self-esteem I have worked so hard to gain. Not over a craving for mashed potatoes, anyway.